"My First Drive In A Birkin"
Just got back from driving Conrads orange Birkin. Gorgeous Perth autumn day, just a few clouds in a blue sky, crisp 16 degrees C.
This has been somewhat of a defining moment for me, but I'll try not to waffle:
Oh.
My.
God.
*Jeremy Clarkson mode on*
I have never before been in anything that ever accelerated or felt like that did. Wow.
Motowest's Frank Wright warmed the Birkin up before I got there. In fact he was out in it when I arrived at the workshop, and all I saw was an orange flash as he turned hard into the car park.
We got in (Frank driving) and burbled off. He very successfully scared the absolute bejesus out of me before we'd even got 500m down the road. He simply indicated, turned a corner into a quiet street and planted the throttle halfway through. There was a roar, something kicked me in the back and stars and rockets came to mind. My heart was somewhere up in my throat as he ran out of road and braked - somehow I still managed to choke out "Holy Sh!t!"
Not since I let go of an aircraft wing at 8,000 feet have I 'lost' bits of seconds due to sensory overload.
Once back at his workshop after a quick couple of blocks, we exchanged places. Or so I thought, as Frank didn't get back in the car. I shoehorned myself out, and back in again. Hmm, pedals. Thought about taking my runners off and driving in socks. Nope, too slippery, I'll try with shoes first. Ah, so thats the indicator switch. Wondered what that beeping was while Frank was driving.
He waved me out, and I gingerly tried hard not to bunny-hop the car out of the small carpark. A few bounces - very short throw on the clutch and a take-up point thats only about an inch or so. Felt a little like a learner again, such is the difference between the Birkin and a conventional car.
After five minutes or so on my own, I hadn't scared myself silly, and although I've had no previous experience in this class of car, I felt very safe feeding more power in. Had the back stepping out smartly onto Albany Highway and copped a bee or something in the side of the head at 70km/hr. The visibility was excellent (what pillars?). No squeaks or rattles! Kinda surprised by that. Comfortable! I fit! Great exhaust note - she just growls and surges forward - there's a half-tamed demon under the orange bonnet that wants out!
Back to Motowest after five minutes around the Bentley blocks. Left the car idling, climbed out and borrowed Franks Puma Speedcat driving boots. Schumacher wears them. To be honest I lost a little of what Frank was saying as my ears were still ringing a little from that wonderful exhaust bark. Felt a little... separated being out of the car. Ha! Frank and I have the same model feet! His boots fit perfectly. Excellent. I felt bits of gravel under the soft narrow soles walking back to the car.
Lurched forward a bit on takeoff. Damn it, that's not reverse! *click* that’s better. The gearbox is very positive, just a short throw to all five of the Type-9's gears.
Brakes squeal a bit coming to a stop. I'm used to power assisted brakes, so standing on the pedal trying to anchor up was new. Quiet street, up to 90 (felt naughty for a nanosecond) and stood on the brakes. She stopped pretty well, certainly faster than my ABS Astra.
Steering is precise - you just point the car, add some loud and watch the front wheels swallow the tarmac. It doesn't bump steer at all, or punish your wrists like I thought it might. Across train tracks, manhole covers, potholes... smooth and steady.
The Birkin is stiff, the ride quite firm, but not rock-hard as I was expecting. You can see the wheels move. New sensations report in through the steering and the seat. I was bounced about a bit, but with the bucket seats and tight fit I wasn't going anywhere the car wasn't. I do think I need to sit a little lower and have the pedal box adjusted another inch or so further away. The seatbelt was comforting, but I thought about the added security of a four-point harness.
By the time I found my way back to Motowest I'd had three quick squirts off the Albany highway lights that made short work of a smart VR Senator. He looked at me, smiled, revved his engine... I was across the other side of the lights waay ahead of him, grinning from ear to ear. I'm no driver, its the car that's blisteringly capable.
A passing train on the Cannington line blasted his horn, the driver waving furiously. A bird ran pilot about 6 feet above the bonnet at 80km/hr, then suddenly shooting off in a different direction. Maybe it'd been a dolphin in a previous life. Maybe it was just trying to get out of the way of a bellowing orange streak just beneath it!
Turned in to Franks car park, let it idle while I got out, and turned her off. Love those 'tink... tink' noises as the Toyota 4AGE-20V engine cooled.
Overall I'd spent a good 35 minutes in the car - about 25 minutes more than I was expecting. Got out. Hands are shaking. Brushed a fair bit of sand out of my hair. The sticky Yokohama AO32's were lifting all manner of stuff off the road. Looking a bit more closely, the tyres are dropping grains of sand and grit to the workshop floor.
There was a white bit of poo on the rear guard next to my elbow from the bird.
Big Grin - Factor 11.
I need a pair of good driving shoes, and wraparound sunnies.
On the way home, my Astra SRi, with its Lotus tuned suspension felt all squishy and liquid. Smooth, but no feel or feedback coming through from the road. BIG difference.
This Birkin is a car begging to be driven. Its very tight, compliant, forgiving yet capable of outrageous wheelspin. Your senses come alive just sitting in the thing. Its changed my notion of what a 160 horsepower 1.6L engine can do given the right chassis and I have a lot more healthy respect for racing drivers, the forces on them and the skills necessary. I can still only imagine having 200 or more horses under your foot, but I'm a bit closer after today.
I've just scratched the surface, and its all shiny underneath.
And the orange has grown on me.
